Offer of Assistance (wk1)

Greetings Oleifera,

On behalf of Maehl Holdings, a trade and logistics company, I welcome you and your kin to the Polar Expanse.

Our company is currently performing market research throughout the Polar Expanse, for the purpose of assisting our clients and potential clients with navigating the complex changing economy. I do not want to presume the nature of your prior interactions with humans (also referred to sometimes as Earthers), Tzira, and other races that currently inhabit the galaxy. Therefore, most simply, I help different people, or sentient beings, trade goods (or things) they have for goods (or things) they don't. I also help people find the goods, or things, that they may want but cannot access.

To that end, I'd like to know how I may assist you and your people now that you have returned. I know very little about your culture, your society, and your needs as living things. Humans, for example, require food, shelter, and clothing in order to survive.

What things does your race require for survival? Do you have those things available on Zahaz? What, if anything, is missing from the planet you are on that you would like to have? How, if at all, do you and your kin trade, or exchange goods? What things do you and your kind have in excess that may be considered of value to other living creatures?

If you are amenable and provide answers to these queries, I will be able to offer my assistance to you and your kin by advising you of the things you may need or want that you do not currently have, as well as advising you of what benefits may be provided by you to other sentient beings. If required, I may also be able to assist you in intergalactic travel as well as assist you and your kin in the process of integration into modern, galactic, society.

I eagerly anticipate your responses to my queries and hope I can be of service and assistance to you.

Yours sincerely,
Su Maehl, CEO
Maehl Holdings

Many thanks, choate-without-host Su Maehl.

Oleifera require only the earth, sea and sky to survive. This one sprouted, and was nurtured by an elder, taught the ways of creation and bringing-forth. This went forth into the wilds and learned to harden itself, creating novel choates against the heat, or cold, or deep chasms of the ocean. This one meant to ascend, to become Bodhi, to cocoon itself and launch towards a distant star, to seed a barren planet with life. This one was infected and controlled while the world burned and the elders screamed.

This one has only seen one type of choates-without-host, one hesitates to ask if there are more, no offense should be taken - one does not know whether you and the Burning Ones are the only creations.

If there are other choates-without-host this one would be interested to see and sample them. Only a tiny prick of flesh or fluid is needed to extract the bringing-forth information. If there is a specific type of choate needed, this one might be able to Su Maehl with it. For example, this one intends to create a choate which can completely nourish your choates-without-host without much care, this could be released onto barren planets with thin air and would spread by itself. If this one can accomplish such a bringing-forth, one would be glad to share it with you for samples.

May you have clear skies and sweet air upon your journeys.

Su Maehl read the incoming correspondence on his holoPod. A second reading of the correspondence ensued immediately. Once done, Su Maehl looked up, scratched his head and furrowed his brow. Shaking his head to clear any proverbial cobwebs, he concentrated fully, reading the correspondence a third time, focusing on every word. At the end of every sentence he paused, thought about it, and then continued with the reading. He slowly bit at his lower lip, sweat accumulated on his forehead, and Su's leg jittered in its place. A fourth and fifth reading followed the third. Every reading of the correspondence ended the same way, "What the FUCK are they talking about?!?!"

Su, fed up, forwarded the correspondence to his PR team. The best and brightest minds across the galaxy, Su thought to himself, they should be able to break down the language into something that can be understood by laymen such as himself. For the next two days, mixed in with the other tasks at hand, Su dreamed of choates, hosts, butterflies, mounds of flesh, and plants. Each time he'd wake up in cold sweats, completely baffled by these new sentient creatures and their communication methods. Were they an evil race, were they like Earthers, or something else?? He needed answers, and it was depriving him of sleep.

His PR team came to three conclusions, he found:
1) The Oleifera speak, by and large, speak an incomprehensible version of Earther. Chances are, their communication patterns in their native language don't translate well. (I'm so happy I invested thousands of ghaz on this crack PR team, Su thought sarcastically. They don't speak poor Earther, they speak the WORST Earther!!! They're even worse than Unity Prime was, and he/she/it broke every rule that his Introduction to Business Communication holoCast had taught him.)
2) Choates are important to the Oleifera (Su almost threw his communicator at his wall when he read the initial report from his team, as it was, by far, the most obvious point to mention, other than they speak terrible Earther!). The report further mentioned that choates are an all encompassing term, that may or may not be related to the Oleifera in some way. (Someone's going to get fired for this). They also are hard on the outside, soft on the inside, and taste great with milk and cookies! (Su laughed for 5 minutes. It was the first time he laughed since the massacre on Druzi. The jury, therefore, is still out whether the comment warranted a promotion or demotion).
3) They want DNA for samples, for reasons not clarified in the correspondence, other than an offhand reference to "research." (No shit! Why am I paying these people again?!?!)

Their final determination: The Oleifera's inability to communcate effectively would make business relations complicated.

Upon finishing his PR team's report, Su carefully placed the holo-com down on his desk. He slowly, and carefully, got up from his desk and walked to the middle of his office. Su then proceeded to emit a yell at the top of his lungs that lasted for about 2 minutes in absolute frustration. With his breathing erratic and his chest heaving, Su grabbed his cane from the entrance way of his office, ran over to the opposite corner and smashed it against the boxing bag, set up for occasions such as this one, over and over again for approximately 15 minutes. Hair disheveled, his dress shirt stained with sweat, and his knuckles whitened by his death grip on his cane, Su walked over to the vanity attached to his office.

After cleaning himself up a bit, Su set aside two communications.

***encrypted communication to the Temporal Empire***
Honored friends of the Temporal Empire,

I have attempted communication with the Oleifera, a race extinguished from this dimensions many years ago. Their communication methods are completely incomprehensible to me and we are at a loss at how to proceed with this matter. I understand that I have been imposing upon you as of late, however, I was hoping you'd be able to enlighten me regarding this matter. In your vast experience of your empire, are the Oleifera a trustworthy race of beings? I include a copy of our correspondences with this communication. What, if any, understanding can you garner from it and how, if at all, should I proceed with this matter?

I am most interested in their abilities to create self sufficient ecosystems and, apparently, food sources. While I admit I am interested in making a profit in some way, shape, or form, the thought of being able to, naturally, replicate or create food sources interests me greatly, as my more humanitarian efforts are becoming costly. However, I need to know to what extent the Oleifera can be trusted and what, if any, consequences will there be if we provide them these DNA samples they request.

Your assistance, as always, is appreciated.

Yours sincerely,
Su Maehl, CEO
Maehl Holdings

*****end communication****

Maehl sent out the communication, and suddenly began to clean up his office in a frenzy, remembering that the Temporal Empire has the ability to visit at any time. In a matter of three minutes his office was organized. He waited for a few minutes, realizing that due to the lack of urgency on this occasion, the Temporal Empire may not send one of his agents to discuss the matter personally. He sighed in relief as he went about formulating a response to the Oleifera.

Dear, no Dearest, Oleifera. Thank you for your response to my communication. I was pleased, no, I appreciate the response and offer of assis..... no no no, Su thought. "This is hopeless!" Dearest Oleifera, I will be pleased to do business with you, and give you everything you want, if you would only explain what the hell you mean by choates! How will you Su Maehl with a choate??!? Are there any languages other than Earther you speak? One that might actually make sense? How do you all procreate? Does it involve sex? When you talk dirty to each other, do you still refer to yourselves in the third person and without distinguishing between one another??!?! (Why wasn't that a part of my PR team's findings?! The jury appears to be leaning towards an unfavorable verdict on that one.)

Maehl quickly deleted what he wrote, knowing it was quite possibly the worst correspondence he ever wrote. It took him an hour or so, but he finally concocted the following response:

*** encrypted message to the Oleifera ***

Dearest Oleifera:

I am happy to hear you are currently without want and have the basic necessities you require for survival.

I understand from your correspondence that you requested DNA samples from other species. How will you plan on using these DNA samples. As I cannot acquire these samples by force, I would have to ask for donations, and thus must know what they will be used for.

Also, I have a great deal many questions regarding your kind, if I may impose upon you for clarification:
1) What are choates?
2) What is the nature of the relationship between you and choates?
3) How, if at all, does your kind differentiate between each other?

Finally, I must admit, Earthers and Oleifera have significantly different communication patterns and how we choose to correlate ourselves to our environments. This difference, I fear, will make communication between our kinds somewhat difficult moving forward. I have a few individuals in my company that would appreciate the opportunity to have daily communications with you and your kind so that we may learn to most efficiently communicate and ensure complete understanding between us. These communications, I request, be performed daily via holo-comm, which I will be more than happy to provide to you if you require it. Also, if your kind cannot use these devices, I will find an alternate means by which my team can remain in their offices, where they have their research equipment, and still have meaningful contact with your kind.

I await your responses so that we may move forward accordingly.

Yours sincerely,
Su Maehl, CEO
Maehl Holdings

*****************end communication**************

Su, relieved, plopped down in his chair, rolled his head back and sighed deeply. He looked over and saw his incoming messages had piled up while he was focusing on these efforts. "No rest for the weary," he said to no one in particular, as he went through his other tasks that he had been diverted from.

Captain Xec Cex, a seven foot tall blue scaled reptiloid alien appears in the office.

"Maehl you are too nervous. The Oleifera are a goodly race. They were wiped out by the Neliff.
A handful of Oleifera had gained a rot which turned their mind to serve Warmonger. And Warmonger burned the rest of the Oleifera as sacrifice. I have seen it in the past."

The Neliff blamed the Quall for the act. But the Quall are simply aliens while the Warmongers servants are demonic ancient evils."

The Da'uhnb stopped for a second, then said, "this Oleifera does know its masters the TRILAT are the servants of demons right?"

Greetings Su Maehl,

This one apologizes for any miscommunication. With time, one is learning much from the choates-witho... humans which are accompanying it. Soon, a choate will finish forming which will be equipped to operate your talking screens, so this one will be able to learn your communication methods much faster. This one is having a human scientist edit this transmission for clarification purposes.

This one would have samples of non-humans, other creatures which inhabit similar planets. This one hears of things called "pets", so it assumes there are many wild choates-without-host on other planets. Only a small tissue or blood sample would be needed. This one would like to increase its knowledge of genetic codes beyond its own.

An Oleifera designs, incubates, and releases organisms which perform various functions. Choates cannot live without their Oleifera, and Oleifera would be barren, paralyzed and quickly end without its choates. For example, one currently has a mat of photosynthesizing blade-like choates upon its ventral surface, which are fixing atmospheric carbon into basic sugars. One has tiny motile choates in its sap streams which capture and eat foreign particles. Larger choates patrol the body for infestation or to clean and heal small structural fractures or wounds. One is continuously developing vocal choates to transmit sound waves through the air for speech. Your species appear to have very simple choates, although there is no conscious control or communication. Your mouths and digestive tracts are teeming with other species, which seem to have beneficial effects. It is thus with the Oleifera, but magnified a thousand-fold.

The designations between Oleifera are impossible to translate. The idea that a single entity can be described in one or two sounds or markings is incomprehensible. One can start to describe its elder for you, to give an approximation.

"One who waits calmly while the rumm-beetles march over its roots without moving though it tickles, shading the redstone rock outcropping by the creek with sweet water, enjoys watching for breaks in the clouds during the rainy season, shelters a flock of fruntings under its wide ranches, the stargazing deep night solitudes, the patient lecturings of choate-design and incubation, one who shared with the moments of bringing-forth, the gentle sadness of a non-ascended..."

One could continue for many of sun cycles.

One is glad to share its knowledge of its kind to you. While the rememberings are tinged with sadness, the joy far outweighs it. If there is anything else Su Maehl would know, please inquire further.

May you walk in balance and beauty.

Su was just about to touch his first file when he heard Xec Cex say, "Maehl you are too nervous." To which Su, of course, responded with a startled jump out of his seat, which in turn knocked over his pile of papers and files he was about to start handling. Fuck me! I needed get to those, Su thought to himself, I'll have to have someone reorganize these. And also, not for nothing, maybe I wouldn't be so nervous if you Da'humb didn't appear out of nowhere, no matter where I am, all the time! Maehl said none of these words that echoed through his head. It was at that moment that he realized that he was so enveloped in his problem that he did not even realize the blue flash that must have inevitable flashed through the room.

Su's Da'humb guest gave Su a moment to collect himself and his papers a bit before continuing. A moment or two later, Xec finished his thoughts regarding the Oleifera followed by the question and finished off by asking, "this Oleifera does know its masters the TRILAT are the servants of demons right?"

Su looked at his guest, and per usual custom, got up to pour two drinks. As he did he said, "Honored Xec Cex, do the Oleifera even know what demons are, much less that their masters are demons? Heck, do they even know that they have masters?! I didn't know what demons were until you told me. Add to that the fact that they've been dead for hundreds or thousands of years, and I'm not assuming they know anything at all, other than what choates are." Su gave his guest his customary glass of wine as he posed one last question before providing the Da'humb an opportunity to respond, "so if we are to assume they know nothing, what do we tell them?"